OK

by Hey Karen

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1.
Samizdat 01:55
i’m bored and i feel useless now everything seems wrong and you’re still asking why i never want to write you a song the answer is so simple because you are a lie you’ve done so much to crush me yet i’ve managed to survive now i can see it clearly you’ve wrecked me for so long and that is why i’ll never ever ever write you a song
2.
hey you what do you hold in your hand i hope you understand what i was who i am and always been what do you know about me you see all superficial things all the colors all the flavors but you forget why you’re here i wanna make this clear that you exist because of what i resist and it’s all about me it’s all about me it’ll always be me and it’ll always be me hey you can you hear me through static and noise in your head hopefully
3.
it was so simple, as most stories are it isn’t rocket science when it comes to faithful hearts as always i was lighting up the fire that would spread around and burn all my desires but the glow inside made me feel so lost i left myself somewhere in the dust well nothing seems to fit in this box except ticking clocks we all are a dream of a drunken god the particles keep crashing in i will give in you’d feel so stupid watching in reverse all of the crazy shit that he made you rehearse you practice all the moves and the steps while he spoon-feeds you with a daily dose of meds the counter ticks, atoms fall apart forming structures resembling my broken heart just take your index finger and your thumb and form a gun to absolve the world, eliminate yourself keep crashing in you will give in we all are a scheme of a vengeful god the particles are crashing in i will give in to absolve the world, eliminate yourself just take your index finger and your thumb and form a gun i believe in our lord and savior jesus christ but who will guide my heart when i let him guide my mind we are slaves of dead gods that we create the particles keep crashing in
4.
my head has come undone i am not a special one in fact i never mattered more than all of those that came before i thought i could control your life but now i feel so small the path you took, the lonely road it’s best for you to get this solved and all the people, they knew from the start how wicked and how ugly could be my unraveled heart they said that I don’t fit and I cannot argue with this it’s best for me to leave it as it is you said you couldn’t deal with all the monsters that you feel eroding my insides the ones that always made you cry you said you have to leave you left me with no air to breathe how can i restore your faith if it’s just too little too late and all your friends, they frowned upon me they said all this nasty stuff about me turns out they’re right and what do I make of this it’s best to let it all stay the way it is now I’m alone I’m not here tears in my eyes but my mind is clear you have escaped without a kiss it’s best to leave my broken heart as wasted as it is
5.
Pivot 05:11
this thing i feel inside of me this haunting inconsistency small dot of light crawls out of me perimeters withholding i’m no longer controlling these little sparks from my fingertips i’ve been away for more than i could say you wouldn’t even recognize my face veins of optic fiber pushing me further this thing i feel inside of me this haunting inconsistency is it ok with you that i’m no longer flesh and bones? my body corrodes is it ok with you that i’m not what you wanted me to be? i break so easily so don’t confide in me
6.
David Bowie 05:07
i am afflicted by what you have been saying to me i feel so dumb i didn’t see it coming through are you sure you’ve never meant any harm to me when you are slowly killing me right now all those flashes from your lashes, they are burning my tongue you can hear all the cracks in thin ice just to think that all i need is a touch of your warmth i’m really asking for no more, no less cuts that mark my fingers used to guide you straight to my heart but now this map is no use at all then what more can i say for you to understand that i desperately need your help help me get back what i had help me be someone again i know it’s up to you help me crawl out of that cave scream out loud my own name help me find the right way all i see is ruin where once i used to be yeah i see nothing that would make me stay i know it’s kinda hard to be the one that’s left out so i’ve been told by the voice in my head i can smell the memories pouring out of your open mouth but something ugly is standing in my way half the time i am the man you want me to be the rest is what i try to save of myself
7.
we sit alone everything is dark and we are on display we’re just a show where people can control our thoughts and move our limbs we have no other place to go i told you so you brush your hair sitting on the edge of bed we used to share i look away and pray to god to take me out of here it hurts just seeing you in such a perfect shape a happy face what do you want how long will you punish me for my mistakes mistakes i make i made amends to please you but you have never noticed all of my suffering the pain i take we used to think what we have is special, now it’s thrown away i’ve been replaced i’m no more than disposable collectible that you keep under your sink what do you think? we sit alone not knowing all the right words, what do i say? how do you feel? this shouldn’t be the last time that’s how it seems our souls are wretched and our bodies are just debris the air we breathe is the only thing that’s keeping me awake it can’t be fake i only wanted to belong to someone else who’d keep me close and let me in so please just stay
8.
Open up 03:33
...can anyone hear me?
9.
i remember what you used to say that everything is gonna be ok i’m not ok, you made me feel this way i’m not ok i recall the smell of summer days when we were so happy in many ways i disappear, but are you still here? i’ll disappear, will you leave me here?
10.
OK 04:12
collecting the pieces that form me into mortality the lampshade, the cherry tree it’s always a part of me don’t question my motives it’s always been a pleasure to be your songbird to make me exposed my teeth are my armor they keep out bad memories no matter where i’m going i’m keeping you with me

about

just take your index finger and your thumb, and form a gun.

equipment used: Logic Pro X running on Apple Macbook, Shure microphones, Yamaha keyboards, Korg synthesizer, Akai controller, Audiotechnika headphones, Logitech speakers, accessories by Logitech, Creative, Thomson, Labtec, Apple, Microsoft, Sony and HTC.

credits

released April 4, 2015

all songs written, performed, mixed, mastered and produced by Hey Karen, except where noted. recorded in stereo at A1 from december 2012 to march 2015. vocals recorded at Reco Studio Warsaw in march 2015.

released and distributed by Numbers/Letters. 2015 (CC-BY-NC-SA)

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Hey Karen Rotterdam, Netherlands

Hey Karen is an alias for Bartek Urban, who creates electronica, synthpop, and industrial - the stuff that both melts your heart and your brain.
Home recordings and lo-fi aesthetic aren't necessarily a bad thing, since he believes the feeling is more important. A full scope of that feeling can be seen in his audiovisual live shows, which he regularly performs since 2011.
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